all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
