I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
