I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
