Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
