Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
