carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
