Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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