..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I need moral support for this bender
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
