god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
