So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
