Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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