my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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