She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
