i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
