yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just gargled with NyQuil
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
