so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
