It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
