I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
