dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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