So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
