Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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