big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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