Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
