I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
