we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
