How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
