Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
