she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
whose ass print is on the piano?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
