9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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