New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
