So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
