omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
