OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
