i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
