Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
