Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
