i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
