I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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