I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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