forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
