That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
