You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
