In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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