I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
