im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
