Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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