I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
