your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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