So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
