9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
