It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
