absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
